Attitude


 

Inspiring leadership is defined by an inspiring attitude. Inspiring words and acts are preceded by an inspiring attitude. Like it or not, our thoughts and interpretations of people and circumstances directly influence our beliefs, and ultimately, our leadership actions.

Yes, bad things do happen and they sometimes “just show up.” Any leader would be hard pressed to remember a week when no curve balls were thrown at him or her. However, it is our interpretation that makes a situation negative. A surprise event or a challenging moment doesn’t have to drag us down. The way we choose to think about what happens determines the ultimate outcome. Henry Ford once said, “Whether you think you can or cannot, you’re right.” In other words, your attitude reflects your past, describes your present and predicts your future.

Our experiences are much less important than our attitude toward them. Our interpretations of experiences either limit or enable our future success. Here’s an example: A mission-critical project you are leading has “promotion” written all over it, but it bombs – it’s over budget, past its deadline … the works. How you choose to interpret those facts is how you shape your future. Do you see yourself as a failure, a poor leader who is maxed out and on the way out? Or are you a great leader in the making who is learning some tough lessons that will help ensure success on the next project?

Think the best ALL the time. What’s the harm? If you choose to protect yourself from disappointment by always thinking the worst, you have also chosen disappointment as the filter through which you view all things and people … and that’s just what you will get. On the other hand, you can choose to think the best all the time. Sure, you might be disappointed occasionally but, most of the time, you will be programming your mental attitude to achieve your best. This creates a tremendously powerful chain reaction that looks like:

You think the best of your team

Team performs to meet you expectations

Customers’ expectations are met

Better business results

You think the best because you have seen the benefit of doing so.

We must manage our attitude as carefully as we manage our money. At any moment during daily leadership, we can fall victim to our own attitude. Self-doubt and fear are the enemies of inspired leadership. Instead, choose an attitude of victory and your team’s performance will follow.

Action Questions:

1. What does my attitude today say about the results I can expect tomorrow?

2. How does my attitude toward my own capabilities, my team and my goals affect my leadership?

 

 

Advertisements

Dealing With Grief and Bereavement


Grief will be with many of us this time because of the shooting in Aurora, Colorado USA, where a disturbed man entered the cinema and went on a killing spree leaving 12 people dead and 58 injured, 7 in critical condition.  Many of us wonder “WHY” Death Without Denial Grief Without Apology: A ...and most still in shock. Aside from this, someone somewhere is mourning a lost close relative or friend of who either was killed or just dead  from natural causes or unnatural circumstance.  Still, in an era when the media seem to tout the wisdom of “closure” within days of any tragedy, it’s easy to feel abnormal when confronted with the long, painful, and messy process of adapting to a death.

Healthy grieving can be a slow, difficult process that lasts for months or years. And although you may gradually be able to refocus your life, you’ll probably never “get over it” or stop thinking about the person who died, till this day I have never stop thinking about the mother I lost at a very tender age; Yes its an individual thing, an individual grieving

process.

Initially, a person may feel shock and numbness as the reality of the death sinks in. Yet during that time, he or she may seem to be handling things well and may be quite competent in managing the funeral and legal matters. Later, feelings of sadness, distress, anger, and guilt may become more prominent.

To others, a grieving person may seem irritable, disorganized, or restless. Rather than “moving on,” the person often seems worse and less able to function several months after a death than he or she did during the first weeks. That’s one reason ongoing practical help and emotional support from friends is so important.

If a person feels stuck and months go by with no improvement, however slow or painful, it could be a sign of complicated grief. Complicated grief is not a mental illness; it’s the term mental health professionals use when grieving has proved to be particularly difficult and the bereaved person could benefit from professional attention.

Signs of complicated grief include an inability to accept that death has occurred; frequent nightmares and intrusive memories; withdrawal from social contact; and constant yearning for the deceased. Complicated grief is more common after a suicide or other traumatic death.

It’s important to distinguish feeling down or depressed from true clinical depression that requires treatment. A professional can help make this determination. He or she will assess whether someone is unable to cope with everyday activities and is showing symptoms not explained by grief. These include constant feelings of worthlessness and hopelessness, continual thoughts of death, suicidal thoughts, uncontrolled crying, delusions, and slowed thinking and physical responses.

In the year after a spouse’s death, 50% of widows develop depression. Treatment may involve medication, psychotherapy, or both. Medication does not take away grief, but rather helps a grieving person preserve the emotional energy needed to cope with feelings.

For many of the bereaved, recognizing and expressing the strong emotions associated with grief is an integral part of healing. To that end, they may want to write about their feelings, talk to friends or a spiritual adviser, see a therapist, a counselor or join a support group. Other things that can help:

  • Group support.     Relatives and friends often can’t understand what a grieving person is  going through. People often find uniquely helpful support in discussing  their loss with others in a similar situation.Bereavement support groups may be general or may focus on a particular  disease or type of relationship. They’re not meant to be psychotherapy,  although some are led by professionals. Some are ongoing; others are time-limited. A local hospice, hospital, religious group or community organization may be able to guide you to a group that is capably led and  seems like a good fit.
  • Individual therapy.      You may not be comfortable speaking in a group setting. Perhaps your  relationship with the deceased was troubled, and you have difficulty talking about it. Or you wish to address unresolved issues from your past  that a recent death has brought to the fore. In that case, working with a therapist or a trusted companion or friend one-on-one may be easier.
  • No pressure to talk.      At the same time, new research suggests that people who find it difficult to disclose their feelings shouldn’t be pressured to do so. In two European studies that followed widows and widowers for two years, neither  talking nor writing about the loss reduced distress. (Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, February 2002.)

Help for the holidays

Some people who are grieving find it reassuring to participate in holiday activities as usual. Others may find it too painful to do so. Here are a few ideas to help you:

  1. Do something for others. Volunteer to help others, through your place of worship or a charity. Invite someone who is alone during the holiday to join you and your family for a meal, a religious service, or an activity such as a concert. Make a donation to a favorite cause in memory of the deceased.
  2. Help yourself adjust. Let others know that you might not participate in all the usual festivities. For example, you may feel like attending a religious service, but not the gathering that follows. Feel free to change plans at the last-minute. Cry if you need to. Let others know if it’s OK for them to share their memories of the deceased with you.
%d bloggers like this: