Nigeria Turns 52 – Celebration? A Personal Letter To All Nigerians


English: Political map of the 36 States of Nig...

English: Political map of the 36 States of Nigeria (English) Deutsch: politische Karte Nigerias (Englisch) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

This October, Nigeria, a country in West Africa which used to be one of the greatest Nations in Africa,  now a sorry state of what it was in 1960, marks its 52 years of independence from the Europeans.

Since the beginning of this month, all we here is Celebration, Celebration, what a folly, what a disgrace.  There is absolutely nothing to celebrate as far as I am concerned.

Will you celebrate a failed and still failing son, daughter, family, or business? NO.

Rather if you so much as care, you will offer the person(s) the truth. All this celebrating or celebration idea is nonsense and a waste of money.

 

We need to say it as it is when the blood of youths, children etc. are being shed on a daily basis, destinies cut short without any remorse and people die  or killed as if no-one gave birth to them.

A country where majority are so desensitized to the truth, and it’s corruption from the top down and down up.

What exactly is Nigeria or Nigerians celebrating;  is it the failed state and governance or the tapped resources in delta state that runs out unchecked slowly wringing the life out of those who should benefit from it, or the pollution that’s been going on for years without any checks or accountability,  or the educational system that has been grounded to  a halt churning out graduates that can’t find a job or a decent means of living or the health care system that milks the life out of its people, or maybe all the politicians who suddenly found out how to be millionaires overnight while masses go a begging.

What are we celebrating please, am very much interested.

Let’s we forget:

“Children are the world’s most valuable resource and its best hope for the future” “Character works hand in hand with success”;

“Unless man is committed to the belief that all mankind are his brothers, then he labors in vain and hypocritically in the vineyard of equality”;

“It is poverty to decide or allow a child to die so that one may live as one wish”;

“Freedom lies in being bold”;

“Once you say or decide to settle for mediocre that is what you become in life”

“The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want and if they can’t find them, make them”.

 

The day we all sing from the same tune is the day when our country Nigeria, will turn the corner. I hope we all stop covering this cancer because it’s a sign the country is going nowhere, Man is formed and molded by it’s thoughts, actions or inactions.

 

Oh, let’s keep praying for Nigeria o, others say passively!!!

Oh Yes, let us pray but do not forget that Nigerian’s problem is not an act of war or from the hand of God; it is plainly a self-inflicted problem. If the prodigal son did not reason enough and trace his steps back into his father’s  house, he would have rot in the slum he choose for himself.

 

Aside from prayers, there is what is called, “Personal Responsibility” towards a functioning and successful government or country; and that is the responsibility of every single Nigerian.

 

That is what keeps a country like Japan within the top league despite the deadly effects of two atomic bombs, the lasting effects on their citizens health, the damaged environment to mention a fee, Japan did not remain in their sorry state. Rather they consciously strive to come out of the ugliness of the war.
It only took one man (their educational minister at the time to shift the course of events). From kindergarten to University and beyond, every Japanese has culcated within their curriculum lessons on; Integrity, Leadership Skills, Truthfulness, Loyalty, Selflessness, Commitment and Every Good Virtue to mention a few, (for those of you critics, go research Japanese Educational System). By the time a young Japanese reaches the age of 10, he or she already has embedded in them commitment towards a good government, not just commitment to their purse/ bank account or family business as it is the case in Nigeria.

 

Malaysia is another beautiful country, very similar to Nigeria, Since independence in 1957, Malaysia has had one of the best economic records in Asia, with GDP growing an average 6.5% for almost 50 years. The economy has traditionally been fuelled by its natural resources, but is expanding in the sectors of science, tourism, commerce and medical tourism.

The country is multi-ethnic and multi-cultural, which plays a large role in politics. The government system is closely modelled on the Westminster parliamentary system and the legal system is based on English Common Law.

 

The day we (Nigerians) wake up to this reality of Personal Responsibility, Heaven will move.

People pray and the same people commit all sorts of atrocities as soon as they live their place of worship, do not be deceived God cannot be mocked. I hope my Nigerian friends read and understand this.

 

Positive change in Nigeria, must start with the change of mindset of every single Nigeria, it is not too late.

 

Rather than get bogged down with endless parties that will not reap a lasting harvest, let’s kindle this fire of Personal Responsibility towards a Successful, Reliable and Prosperous Nigeria and Nigerians..

 

Let me leave you with these thoughts/questions.

 

What are you willing to do for your country? When will you take the first positive step of change? We all have a responsibility to make a positive difference in our lifetime or are you just passing through?

I hope you will rise up to this challenge.

However,  regardless of what your thought is, please do me a BIG  favor, share this message with every born, free or bound Nigerians on your time-line.

“Until the great mass of the people shall be filled with the sense of responsibility for each other’s welfare, social justice can never be attained”.

THANK YOU.

 

Rebecca Bukola Ajibola

How can I begin to break the silence and be open about being sexually abused as a child?


Every time my stepfather touched me, I felt as if I was losing a small piece of me. As I got smaller and smaller, our secret seemed to grow bigger and bigger. The silence was cramming all the small, shattered pieces of me into some secret, shameful box that I hoped no one would ever open.

I am not alone. Every day I receive e-mails from people who have been sexually abused and have kept silent about it. Many survivors who have lived in silence falsely believe that talking about their abuse will not only do nothing to reduce their shame and isolation, but that it will actually make things worse.

Survivors of childhood sexual abuse long to be accepted for who we are. As children, we never felt accepted because we believed something was wrong with us. We thought something about us was bad and deserved punishment. Now, as adults, it doesn’t make sense that someone would accept us just because we’re not being abused anymore. So we decide to become someone else—someone others will accept and maybe even love.

But even though our façade helps win us the acceptance of others, we feel exactly the same inside. Contrary to what we believed, we do not feel better. We still can’t accept ourselves, for we don’t even know the real us. We long to know who we really are. But we find we fear it just as much as we long for it. It seems easier to just keep faking it.

When I decided to get real, I took small, quick breaths of fresh air. A little trust here. A little openness there. I kept the blanket off just long enough to know I was making progress. But as I kept working at getting real, I began to realize what I was looking for was a community where I could heal, where I could find acceptance, love, purpose and hope. I was looking for a circle of inspiration.

Creating your own circle can take a while. Most of the time, no one will know that you even need this kind of support until you speak up about it. Hence my passion and focus on empowering survivors to break the silence. It also takes time to build relationships by learning to trust again and allowing others to know you.

Your circle may seem small or even nonexistent at this point. You may still be holding your breath, too afraid to breathe. But just as Jesus got to choose the men He wanted in His circle, you get to choose the people you want in yours. You’re the only one who decides who will get to hear your story and have the high honor of getting to know the real you.

We need to find people we trust—or people we can begin to try to trust—and share our story with them. This is where our healing journey begins and where our circle of inspiration starts to grow. So to begin to form your circle, start with someone you feel you can trust. Chances are, this person will be caring and compassionate, someone who is willing to reach out to you in your pain.

(Help is out there, you dont have to tolerate or accept any nonsense because that is what sexual abuse is, please do not suffer in silence. No man has the right to Lord over another human being. It is not acceptable. Contact us or simple email us for counsel; Pastor Rebecca).

Why don’t women leave their abusers?


Grandville : Cent Proverbes

Grandville : Cent Proverbes (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The fact is that many women do leave, and they risk their lives in doing so. A woman may leave an average of seven times—leaving and going back home—before she leaves for good. There are many reasons why a woman stays in an abusive relationship or returns home after leaving, but the primary motivation is fear.
Fear

The victim has every reason to be afraid. Many abusers threaten to take the children if she leaves—either by accusing her of being an incompetent parent and gaining custody or by kidnapping them. In extreme cases, he may kill them as the ultimate revenge against his wife.

She also fears for her own safety. She may get killed herself! A woman is at 75 percent greater risk of harm from her abuser when she leaves.1 One abuser threatened to kill his wife, saying, “If I can’t have you, nobody else will either.” In another incident the abuser disfigured his wife’s face with acid, proclaiming, “Now no one will ever want to look at you again.”
Guilt

Religious beliefs and guilt keep many women from leaving abusive situations. They fear the condescending and judgmental reactions of friends and family who believe she is responsible for breaking up the family by leaving. She may also fear offending God and her church family. Most women who have children try to protect them from the trauma of divorce by staying in an abusive marriage. They do not realize their children will suffer more long-lasting trauma by being in an abusive home than in a single-parent home. Women may not realize that leaving does not necessarily lead to divorce. In some cases, separation is the wake-up call that causes her husband to seek help.
Confusion

Confusion and “crazy making” keep many women off balance and unable to make rational decisions. One day he worships her and places her on a pedestal. The next day she doesn’t meet his expectations and falls from grace. The fall is a long one, and she can’t understand why he has changed from a loving, generous husband into a maniacal bully who delights in punishing her.
False Hope

False hope distorts a woman’s view of reality. Many women stay in an abusive home because they love their husbands and long to see their marriage succeed. They simply want the disrespect and violence to stop. She believes if she tries a little harder or waits a little longer, things will change. She believes him when he says the abuse will never happen again. Because he has been wounded in the past, she thinks he needs extra love and care, and she thinks that helping him become whole is her responsibility. Because she loves him, she denies the reality that he is capable of seriously hurting or killing her. False hope convinces her that she needs to protect her husband—even from himself.
Financial Instability

Financial dependence and fear of the unknown paralyze many women as they ponder how they will be able to support themselves and, in many cases, their children. Most women face financial, social, and emotional hardships when they leave, and they often find that assistance is limited or not available to them. Weak criminal justice systems offer no hope, and have failed victims again and again, causing women to be terrified of possibly losing custody of their children and become destitute financially. When a woman’s life is bound up in her family, she worries about continuing important relationships with stepchildren, grandchildren, in-laws, and friends. She believes her identity will be lost if she leaves.
Lack of Information

Ignorance of the facts and of the consequences of domestic violence causes women to view themselves as the problem rather than understanding the cause of violence is within the heart and mind of the abuser. They believe his violence is caused by temporary problems based on outside circumstances, such as stress at work. Having this mind-set, they believe that once the stress is relieved, the beatings will stop. In addition, some women are unaware that spousal abuse is spiritually and morally wrong.

(If you have been abused or in an abusive relationship, you dont have to suffer in silence feel free to contact us, there is help out there.)

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