Manners


Of all the things a parent can teach a child, manners rates very close to the top of the “must teach” list. Number one, when a child is taught, from the time he or she can talk, to say “thank you,” you are teaching that child thankfulness. The insertion of the word “please” in a request changes the child from a demanding person to one who accepts the fact that when they ask a favor or make a request, the parent has no automatic obligation to respond favorably to that request. Response to “please” is much better than the “get this for me” demand type of approach.

Psychiatrist Smiley Blanton says that roughly 80% of all of the counseling he does is the direct result of parents not having taught their children manners. He emphasizes that he is talking about more than table manners; he’s talking about the whole spectrum of deportment and civility. That’s significant because the record indicates that most top executives in any field of endeavor are courteous, thoughtful people. Example: One hundred seventy-five of the CEOs of the Fortune 500 companies are former Marines and 26 of our presidents served in the military. The military teaches respect and manners. I challenge you, when you encounter a former career military person who moved up in the ranks, you will be impressed with their old-fashioned courtesies, including, “Yes, Sir,” “Yes, Ma’am,” “Thank you,” “Please,” and other expressions of good civility and deportment. They are taught to serve before they earn the right to command.

Just in case you’re thinking, “But that’s old-fashioned and people don’t do those things any more,” of course, you’re right in both cases—which is the reason why the people who do take that approach stand out like beacons in the dark as they move to the top.

Think about it.

Be courteous yourself.

Teach your children to be courteous

Reference: Zig Ziglar

Advertisements

Women


 Biblical Advice for Women’s Issues

Honest biblical advice for the toughest issues women face in crisis situations, personal and spiritual development, relationships, current events, and more. See the categories below for more information on each topic.


Biblical Guidelines for Helping

The experienced Christian counselor, H. NORMAN WRIGHT, author of Helping Those Who Hurt, says that many elements are involved in helping a friend:

  • look to the Word of God (Proverbs 3:5-6): if we try to help a friend within our own strength, we will make mistakes.
  • experience “genuine interest and love” for the individual we are helping. Wright suggests that if we don’t have this, we can’t fake it. Pray about your attitude, or point your friend to someone who could possibly be of more help to them.
  • know when to speak, and when not to: A knowledgeable person chooses words well.
  • ask for more information: this will allow your friend time to talk.
  • keep a confidence: if you are asked not to share information, then keep it to yourself.
  • show understanding: if you make inappropriate comments, your friend can feel the painful effects of your reactions.
  • give tentative (rather than concrete) suggestions to allow your friend to think of many solutions. 
  • use confrontation: Confront with grace and understanding, and to allow your friend “to make better decisions for herself, become more accepting of where she is in life, and to be less destructive and more productive,” Wright says.
Be ready to help and edify your friend, (Galatians 6:2, Romans 14:19), and give encouragement (Proverbs 12:25).

Finally,  “be able to get inside the other person, to look at the world through her perspective or frame of reference, and get a feeling for what her world is like.”

Check the categories on Women Issues for more guidance

Remain Blessed Virtuous One,

Rebecca Ajibola.

%d bloggers like this: